100 questions to ask your parents (and the ones that actually get stories)

A week before that, I stood at a parking machine and couldn't remember my own number plate.

That's the thing about our parents. There's a whole person in there, with friends and firsts and opinions and a life that happened before we turned up. Most of us never get round to asking about it. It isn't that we don't care. We just assume we already know, or it feels a bit odd to start.

So here are 100 questions to ask your parents. They're grouped by era, and there's a section at the end on how to ask them so you get proper stories back.

Not got time for 100? Start with these five

If you only ask your mum or dad one thing this week, pick from these. They're the ones that get the best stories back, time after time.

1. Tell me about the house you grew up in. Everyone has a picture of it in their head, and the stories come with it.
2. Tell me about your first car. It's never about the car. It's about being young, skint and free.
3. Tell me about the day you met mum (or dad). You think you know this one. You probably don't know all of it.
4. Tell me about a place you've always wanted to visit. You might learn something you can actually do something about.
5. Tell me about your week. Not every question needs to be about 1975.

Screenshot this and send one to them tonight.

Why "Tell me…" works better than "What was…"

You'll notice nearly every question below starts with "Tell me". That's deliberate.

"What was your first car?" gets you "a Mini". "Tell me about your first car" gets you the Mini, the time it broke down on the way to the coast, who was in the back seat, and what they were listening to. The Mini itself is irrelevant. The real story is being nineteen, skint and free for the first time.

A closed question gets a fact. An open invitation gets a story, so if you only take one thing from this post, take that.

Childhood and growing up

1. Tell me about the house you grew up in.
2. Tell me about your bedroom when you were little. Who did you share it with?
3. Tell me about the neighbours everyone talked about.
4. Tell me about a typical Saturday when you were ten.
5. Tell me about the games you played outside.
6. Tell me about a time you got into real trouble.
7. Tell me about Christmas morning when you were a kid.
8. Tell me about the family pet, or the one you begged for and never got.
9. Tell me what you wanted to be when you grew up.
10. Tell me about something you were scared of as a child.

School and teenage years

11. Tell me about your first day at school.
12. Tell me about the teacher you still remember, for good or bad reasons.
13. Tell me about your best friend at school.
14. Tell me about the first record you bought.
15. Tell me about the first gig or dance you went to.
16. Tell me what you and your pals did on a Friday night.
17. Tell me about the clothes you thought were the height of fashion.
18. Tell me about the first time you got your heart broken.
19. Tell me about a rule you broke that your parents never found out about.
20. Tell me about the day you left school.

First jobs and working life

I asked my dad to tell me about his first day in his first job. Fifty-one years later, he gave me the exact date and the full name of everyone who worked there. It's completely useless information, and it sums him up perfectly. Sometimes the answer tells you less about the past and more about the person.

21. Tell me about your first day at your first job.
22. Tell me about your first pay packet and what you spent it on.
23. Tell me about the worst job you ever had.
24. Tell me about a boss you'll never forget.
25. Tell me about the job you nearly took.
26. Tell me about something you were really proud of at work.
27. Tell me about the people you worked with that you still think about.
28. Tell me how you got to work every day.
29. Tell me about a time you got something badly wrong at work.
30. Tell me what you'd have done for a living if money was no object.

Love, dating and how they met

31. Tell me about the day you met mum (or dad).
32. Tell me about your first date together.
33. Who did you nearly marry?
34. Tell me about your wedding day, the bits that didn't make the photos.
35. Tell me about your first home together.
36. Tell me about your first holiday together.
37. Tell me about your first big argument.
38. Tell me about the moment you knew.
39. Tell me about the song that's "yours".
40. Tell me about the best advice anyone gave you about love.

(Yes, number 33 breaks the rule. Some questions are funnier when they're blunt.)

When you came along

41. Tell me about the day I was born.
42. Tell me about bringing me home for the first time.
43. Tell me what I was like as a baby. Honestly.
44. Tell me how you chose my name, and which names lost.
45. Tell me about something I did as a kid that you still laugh about.
46. Tell me about a time I really worried you.
47. Tell me which age of ours was the hardest, and which was your favourite.
48. Tell me about a family holiday you remember differently from me.
49. Tell me about something you did for us that we never noticed.
50. Tell me about the first time I made you really proud.

Their parents and the wider family

This is where it gets interesting. One of my dad's answers reached back a whole generation, to a wedding photo of his grandparents from 1914 that I'd never seen.

51. Tell me about your mum when she was the age you are now.
52. Tell me about your dad's job.
53. Tell me about your grandparents.
54. Tell me about Sunday dinner at your house growing up.
55. Tell me about the relative everyone had a story about.
56. Tell me about something your parents always used to say.
57. Tell me about the oldest family photo you've got. Who's in it?
58. Tell me about a family tradition that's disappeared.
59. Tell me about your brothers and sisters as kids.
60. Tell me something about your own parents that only made sense once you had kids.

Places and travel

I asked my dad to tell me about a place he'd always wanted to visit. He said Alaska.

I went to Alaska when I was 23. I had no idea he wanted to go. I'd have taken him. He's still here, and now I know.

61. Tell me about your first holiday abroad.
62. Tell me about a place you've always wanted to visit.
63. Tell me about a place you lived that I don't remember.
64. Tell me about the best day trip you ever had.
65. Tell me about a place you'd go back to tomorrow.
66. Tell me about a time you got properly lost.
67. Tell me how far from home you'd been by the time you were 20.
68. Tell me about a place that's changed beyond recognition.
69. Tell me about a move you nearly made.
70. Tell me about the first time you saw the sea, or snow, or a big city.

Everyday life back then

71. Tell me about your first car.
72. Tell me about the first telly your family owned.
73. Tell me what you had for tea on a normal weeknight.
74. Tell me about the sweets you spent your pocket money on.
75. Tell me about the family phone: where it was, and who hogged it.
76. Tell me what a loaf, a pint and a bus fare cost when you started work.
77. Tell me about the song that takes you straight back.
78. Tell me about a film that blew you away at the cinema.
79. Tell me about a fashion you're glad has gone.
80. Tell me about something you owned that you'd love to have back.

Their life right now

Here's what most "questions to ask your parents" lists miss. They treat mum and dad as a history project, but your parents aren't finished. Plenty of them have a better social life than we do.

Some of the best answers I've had are about last week, not 1975.

81. Tell me about your week.
82. Tell me about the best thing you've done this year.
83. Tell me about something you're looking forward to.
84. Tell me about a friend you've made recently.
85. Tell me about something new you've tried lately.
86. Tell me what you're reading or watching at the moment.
87. Tell me about your last holiday, the bits that weren't in the photos.
88. Tell me about something that's really annoyed you this month.
89. Tell me what a perfect day looks like for you now.
90. Tell me about something you've taken up that surprised you.

What they think

A 70-year-old dad and a 20-year-old dad are the same person, with a lot of hindsight in between. These questions are for meeting the current version.

91. Tell me something you've changed your mind about.
92. Tell me about a decision you're really glad you made.
93. Tell me what you know now that you wish you'd known at 25.
94. Tell me about someone who changed the course of your life.
95. Tell me about a risk you took.
96. Tell me about the thing you're proudest of. (It can't be us.)
97. Tell me about a time you were really brave.
98. Tell me about a friend you've lost touch with and would love to see again.
99. Tell me what you think my generation gets wrong, and what we get right.
100. Tell me about you.

How to ask so you get stories, not one-liners

A list of 100 questions is a great way to make your mum feel like she's being interviewed by the police. Here's what's worked for us.

One at a time. Don't sit them down with a clipboard. One question, now and again, is an invitation. Twenty in a row is an interrogation.

Let them skip. Not every question will land. The ones that spark something get answered, and the rest float past. That's fine. Questions should feel like invitations, not homework.

Ask a follow-up. The first answer is the headline, and the good stuff is in the second one. "Who was with you?" or "What happened next?" unlocks more than any clever opening question.

Reply to what they tell you. This matters more than anything. If your mum sends you a story and hears nothing back, it starts to feel like homework. A quick "I never knew that!" keeps it going.

Keep the voice. If they'll send a voice note instead of typing, take it every time. You can read a story anywhere, but you'll only hear it in their voice from the recording.

Adapt to your family. Not every family looks like the ones in these questions. Swap "mum" for "gran" or skip the ones that don't fit. You know where the sore spots are.

A quick word on security

A few of these questions, like first car, first school and the street you grew up on, overlap with the security questions banks still use. That's fine within the family. Just don't post your parents' answers publicly on social media, and maybe have a gentle word with them about why.

Why I built Tell Me

I started doing this with my own parents: a question every now and again, by text, and I kept the answers. The stories that came back were better than anything I'd have got by asking across the dinner table, because they had time to think.

So I built Tell Me. It sends your mum or dad two questions a week by WhatsApp or email. They answer when they like, by text, voice note or photo, and every story is saved into a private family archive you can search and listen back to. You pick the questions, or let it suggest them.

It doesn't replace talking to your parents. It gives you more to talk about. You can try it free for 10 stories, or if you're stuck on what to get them this Christmas, it makes a pretty good gift for a parent who has everything.

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask your parents about their life?
The best ones are open invitations: "Tell me about the house you grew up in" rather than "Where did you grow up?". Mix eras, from childhood and first jobs to how they met and what they're up to now, and include some light, funny ones alongside the deeper questions.

How do I get my parents to open up?
Ask one question at a time, let them answer in their own time, and react to what they tell you. People open up when they feel listened to, not when they feel interviewed.

What if my parents say there's nothing interesting to tell?
Nearly every parent says this. Skip "tell me about your life" and ask something small and specific, like their first pay packet or the family phone. Small questions unlock big stories.

How should I record my parents' answers?
Voice notes are the easiest for most parents and keep their voice, which you'll treasure. Written answers work too. The important thing is keeping them all in one place so they don't get lost in a chat thread.