How to tell your mum or dad you want their stories
It took me weeks to ask my own parents, and I built the app. This is the bit everyone gets stuck on — and the one text that gets past it.
It took me weeks to ask mine. I built the app.
I had the whole thing working. Questions going out, answers coming back, all tested on myself. And I still sat on it for about a month before I said anything to my parents.
If you've been thinking about asking your mum or dad to do this and haven't, you're not being daft. You're stuck on the same bit everyone gets stuck on. This page is about that bit.
Why it feels awkward
Let's just say it. Somewhere in your head, asking your parents to record their stories feels like telling them you've noticed they're getting older. It sounds like "before it's too late." You don't want to say that to your mum, and you definitely don't want her hearing it in your voice.
So here's the thing to get straight before you send anything: that's not the conversation. You're not asking them to think about the end of anything. You're asking your dad what his first car was, because you've realised you don't actually know. Nobody has ever been upset by that question.
What you're actually asking for
Every question in Tell Me starts with two words: tell me. Tell me about your first car. Tell me about the house you grew up in. Tell me about the best thing you ate this week. That's the entire pitch to your parents. Not "I want to preserve your memories." Not "for the grandchildren, one day." Just: I want to hear about your first car, and this thing will ask you so I don't forget to.
Most parents don't need selling on that. Most parents have been waiting to be asked.
Try one now — tap a question to send it to them, with nothing else.
The message that works
You don't need a speech. You need one text, sent on a normal weekday evening, in the same tone you'd use to ask if they want anything from the big Tesco. Here's the one I'd send:
To: Mum
Sent — the message is in your inbox, ready to forward.
Notice what it does. It's already decided. It tells them the first question is coming. It tells them how to answer and that there's no wrong way. And there's not a single word in it about time, age, or memory.
What happens next
They say "what's this now?" You say "just answer it." The first question arrives. They answer it — usually at far more length than you expected — and you'll get a story about a Ford Anglia you've never once heard in forty years of knowing them.
That's it. That's the whole gap. One text.
Want the rest?
The rest of this guide has three more messages for different kinds of parents, what to say to the dad who thinks it's daft and the mum who says she's got nothing interesting to tell, what to do about your siblings, and the one thing that keeps them answering after week two.
Sent — check your inbox
The rest of the guide is on its way to , with a link that opens it on any device. It's also unlocked just below.