What to do when they stop replying

It happens with almost everyone. They reply enthusiastically for a fortnight, then a question goes by with no answer. Then another. You start checking for a reply. You start wondering if you should call. You're a bit panicky and a bit hurt.

Take a breath. This is normal.

What's almost certainly happening

People go quiet for ordinary reasons:

• They had a busy week — visitors, a hospital appointment, a grandchild's birthday.
• The question that arrived didn't grab them and they meant to come back to it.
• They were tired and didn't have the energy to record one.
• They got distracted, the message slipped down the screen, they forgot.

Almost none of these mean "I don't want to do this any more". They mean "not today".

Don't chase

This is the hard part. Your instinct is to send a "did you get my last question?" text. Resist it.

Chasing turns Tell Me from a lovely thing into homework. The next message becomes something she has to reply to, instead of something she gets to enjoy.

The questions will keep arriving on schedule. When she's ready, she'll come back. And almost always — she does.

Don't bring it up next time you talk

If you ring her on Sunday, don't say "I noticed you hadn't replied to the last few questions". That's the same as chasing, just in person. She'll feel guilty and the next reply will come from a place of obligation, not pleasure.

Just talk like you normally would. The questions can stay completely separate from your relationship.

When it's worth gently checking in

If she goes quiet for three or four weeks straight, it's reasonable to ask — gently, and only once:

Are the Tell Me questions still landing okay? Happy to slow them down or change them up if you'd rather.

That phrasing matters. You're not asking "why haven't you replied". You're offering to make it easier. That's a different conversation.

You can also pause it

If she's going through something — illness, a hard week, a bereavement — you can pause questions for a while from the dashboard. No questions arrive, nothing piles up. When she's ready, you switch it back on. This is exactly what it's there for.

And remember

Every question she does answer is one more story your family has forever. The ones she skips aren't lost — they're just not today's. And there'll be plenty more days.