What makes a great custom question
Tell Me has a question bank, but the best ones often come from you. Here's how to write your own.
The questions Tell Me sends are good. They cover childhood, family, work, food, places, the textures of an ordinary life. But sooner or later you'll want to ask your own — and your own questions will land differently, because only you know what to ask.
Three rules of thumb.
1. Start with "Tell me"
Every question on Tell Me begins with those two words for a reason. "Tell me about your wedding day" opens a door. "What was your wedding day like?" sounds like an interview.
The phrasing tells your parent: I'm not testing you, I'm not after a particular answer, just talk.
2. Ask about a story you've already half-heard
The best custom questions aren't the big abstract ones ("Tell me about your childhood"). They're the specific ones — the story she's mentioned at family dinners that you've never properly heard.
Tell me about the time you and Aunt Pat got the train to London on your own.
Tell me about Mr Brennan, the neighbour you've mentioned.
Tell me about that summer you worked at the bakery — what was it actually like?
These work because she's already comfortable telling them. You're just inviting her to tell it properly this time, with no one interrupting.
3. Ask the thing you've always been curious about
There are things you've wondered about your parents your whole life and never had a natural moment to ask. Tell Me is that moment.
- Tell me what you thought when you first met Dad.
- Tell me about the year before I was born — what was your life like?
- Tell me what you wanted to be when you grew up, and whether it changed.
These can feel slightly daring to send. Send them anyway. The worst that happens is she doesn't reply to that one. The best is you get a story you'd never have heard otherwise.
Things to avoid
- Closed questions. "Did you enjoy school?" gets a yes. "Tell me what school was like" gets a story.
- Questions with a built-in answer. "I bet you were nervous on your first day, weren't you?" puts words in her mouth.
- Anything that feels like an interrogation. Avoid stacking three questions in one. One open invitation is plenty.
A quick recipe
When you're stuck, try this template:
Tell me about [specific person, place, or moment from her life] — [a small detail that shows you remember it].
That second clause is what makes it land. It tells her you've been listening, and it's why she'll write you four paragraphs back.
Capture your loved one's stories
Tell Me sends them a couple of warm questions each week. They reply with a voice note. You keep their stories forever.
Start your first 10 stories freeMore guides
Start here: how Tell Me works
The whole thing in ten minutes — what happens behind the scenes, what you control, and the handful of habits that turn polite answers into a proper archive.
Why a voice note is worth a hundred typed messages
Typing feels easier — but in ten years, you'll want to hear them. Here's how to gently nudge your parent toward the microphone.
How to tell your parent about Tell Me
What to say so it sounds like the lovely idea it is — not something heavier than you mean.